Interview with a Taco

Name: Taco

Daytime Occupation: Engineer

Superhero Alias: The Baby Whisperer

On a night that was neither especially dark nor stormy, our seemingly normal friend Taco came to visit. His wife loaned him to us for the weekend to help us with the baby. They both had been bugging us about having a baby for over 2 years and now she was finally here. And crying.

We knew that Taco had baby experience, but we didn't know about the deep and mysterious powers he possessed. Baby powers. Our friend Taco was a baby whisperer.

After a relaxing weekend of sleeping until 10:30, going to movies, seeing friends, and catching up on errands (all while Taco babysat Hannah), we felt like we should try to pry out some secrets from the whisperer and share them with our readers.

Megan: Taco, our monitor batteries ran low last night and although our room is right across the hall from the baby and you were staying on another floor, when I got up to check on the baby you were already there...whispering. How do you do it?

Taco: Shh, there's a baby crying down the street right now. The cries of the little ones fill my head.

Megan: Creepy. Some of our readers know that you have two boys of your own, ages 2 and 11 months. Did you first become aware of your powers when taking care of them?

Taco: No. I knew very early that I had a gift. For instance, when I was a baby I always knew when I was crying.

Megan: What's your greatest challenge in whispering?

Taco: It's difficult sometimes that babies are drawn to me. For instance, did you notice that the Vroomans brought their baby over to your house when they came to visit and I am staying at your house, too? Coincidence?

Megan: Right. What is your everyday disguise to fit in with the non-whisperers?

Taco: I've learned to observe the local habits and dress accordingly.

Megan: Well, if you had a baby whispering costume what would it look like?

Taco: It would probably be Teflon-coated to repel spit-up. It would also have multiple pacifiers sticking out for soothing many babies.

Megan: Like many other superheroes I assume you have a nemesis? Maybe someone that charms away babies like an Angelina Jolie or a Madonna?

Taco: Yes, they are worthy adversaries, however, my greatest nemesis is Jo the Supernanny. She's English and I'm Irish so it's a natural feud. And I'm still a little angry about her getting that primetime TV show.

Megan: Do you have any tips for non-whisperers?

Taco: Never sleep. Learn to use one arm for all tasks.

* At this point we decide to call Taco's wife to corroborate his facts.*

Megan: How does it feel to be married to a baby whisperer?

Jane: Fantastic. I get to sleep.

Megan: Is there anything else we should know about Taco?

Jane: His powers get weaker over time. When the babies grow up he starts to do some not-so-helpful things like teaching them how to wrestle, feeding them candy, and playing baseball indoors.

Taco: Babies love that!

Megan: One final question for the whisperer, how do we know you will use your powers for good and not evil? I imagine it wouldn't be terribly difficult for you to create an army of babies for your own purposes.

Taco: (innocently) Um, I wouldn't say that....I, uh, just want everyone to have a baby. You know, because they are so much fun.