I grew up in a family with three kids and I always thought I'd have three as well. Maybe four. Because what is better than three? Four. The more the merrier. That way there would be even teams for games.
But Steve grew up with two kids and thought that was best. I was not convinced. Most of my friends growing up had three kids in their families. And their houses were full of laughter, chaos, and FUN. Whereas the two kid families were pretty quiet, calm, and...well, a little boring in comparisson.
Fast forward to having kids. I was pretty sure I wanted four, but then I had one and saw just how much work it was...and thought maybe three sounded good. Then I had another....and thought maybe two should be it. Having a baby and toddler at the same time really makes you consider your life choices. Two in diapers is not for the faint of heart. Bless my mother for having three kids in five years and working a full-time job! I really can't imagine having three kids all under school age.
But honestly the bigger reason why I changed my mind and decided to stop at two were the particular two I got.
I was overjoyed to have a daughter and then when everyone assumed we would want a boy for baby #2, Steve and I both were secretly hoping for another girl.
Sisters just seemed ideal. And it was. I assumed Hannah would have a difficult time adjusting to a baby, but she didn't at all. She was in love with her from day one. And Olive felt the same way about Hannah.
I can't really describe their bond. They have very different personalities and interests, but they go well together and give each other balance. They are like yin and yang. They have a twin bond without being twins. Jane has described her two boys as "two halves of a whole." I think that fits as well. It is beautiful to watch them together and it is hands down my favorite part about being a parent. I have seen many, many sibling relationships, and what they have is rare.
Hannah can be shy and timid with others, but she gets to be the boss with Olive (something every first-born wants). Olive is usually the leader in group situations, but she almost always defers to Hannah's opinion when they are together. They give each other practice in being assertive and cooperative that they don't get from other people. Hannah is calm and patient when Olive is overly emotional. Olive seeks approval from her older sister and Hannah readily gives it to her. "Isn't that right Hannah?" is a common phrase at our house. And Hannah gets a self-esteem boost by having someone who wants to be with her constantly and thinks she is amazing.
I once asked Olive about going to Granny's house on her own and she looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Why would I ever do that?!?" I think they have one spent one night apart from each other in her entire life. Even if mom and dad are gone, Hannah is her constant.
Since they are girls close in age, it is easy for them to play together because they are going through the same phases at the same time. Two preschoolers who like My Little Ponies. Two elementary girls who like Taylor Swift. They also try out each other's interests. Hannah never played with dolls until Olive started playing with dolls. Olive doesn't have much interest in sports or physical things...unless Hannah is climbing or playing and then she'll join in, too.
Seeing them together makes me happy because I know they don't need me. I guess that is weird for a mom to say because a lot of women want to feel needed. And that's nice...but I'm even happier knowing they can make it without me. I know they will always be okay because they have each other. They have such a strong relationship that I don't know how another best friend or boyfriend will ever measure up.
Or another sibling. Which is the biggest reason why we stopped at two. I just couldn't imagine a scenario where three would improve the situation. Wouldn't a little brother just feel left out? Wouldn't a younger sister create a weird triangle where it would be two vs. one? I think I would have ended up with more kids if they first two hadn't been so bonded. If I had a boy and a girl, I probably would have wanted another so we'd have a two boys or a two girls pair.
And while I thought a family with only two kids would feel unfinished, it feels complete. Full. Balanced. Fun. I realized that the fun vs. boring feeling of the household had more to do with the type of people in the house than the number of people. I also realized I liked loud chaos more as a kid than I do now as a mom. :)
Two turned out to be perfect.
